Chris Rattue: McCullum is exposed at the top

Brendon McCullum's technique is too risky for an opener. Photo / Getty Images

Note to self: forget the optimism when New Zealand is playing test cricket in Australia. Or playing genuine test cricket full stop.

Last week was a lot of fun until the Brisbane test actually started. Fantasy cricket is a lot easier than actual test cricket.

A fabulous first over from Australia's new quick bowler James Pattinson yesterday morning was enough to determine that our sporty spice Prime Minister would not be making any triumphant dashes to the Gabba.

I was so looking forward to the prospect of the PM releasing his grip on the Webb Ellis Cup long enough to charge around the Brisbane ground with a match ball raised aloft. Drat and double drat.

Australia might have a new fast bowling hero, but we've been left with the same old problem - a top order with nothing tops about it.

Brendon McCullum is no opening batsman, and his talents will remain further unfulfilled while he continues in the role.

Since making a double century in Hyderabad, the 30-year-old has averaged in the mid-20s as an opener over nine innings. You don't need the record book to know he's not suited to the role. His technique is too risky, too loose. McCullum, who has a decent test average by New Zealand standards, doesn't look like an opener. He doesn't have the application to adapt his game either.

Unlike the truly great attacking openers - a rare breed including Australian Matthew Hayden, who is about to take up the T20 cudgels at the age of 40 - McCullum lacks a base from which to consistently launch his brilliant shot-making against new ball attacks. Hayden destroyed opponents with a presence that said he had learnt the opener's craft, and then expanded upon that.

The rot starts at the top with New Zealand cricket, and many careers and averages have fallen like dominoes because of this.

We've had two excellent openers in Glenn Turner and Mark Richardson, the latter almost entirely dependent on knowing how to die for the cause slowly. A couple of other stout troops could hang about in the trenches. The rest of our openers specialised in falling like flies.

The problem is so bad that wasting McCullum's talents for an average supply of 20 runs as an opener is a reasonable deal. Martin Guptill takes longer to get fewer runs with about a third as much style.

In the finest traditions of New Zealand cricket, Daniel Vettori had to - once again - lead a middle-lower order campaign against humiliation, although he couldn't quite pull this off. Vettori is a remarkable cricketer, and we would be hopelessly lost without him.

Meanwhile, the theorising that plagues New Zealand cricket goes on and on. This includes, of late, a perfectly logical piece from Turner about the pitfalls of certain captain/coach/selector arrangements. From a bystander's point of view, though, there is an awful lot of talk and not enough walk in New Zealand cricket. All the different theories and coaches, selection panels and captains have been unable to solve the key problem around the top order batting.

There has to be a deeper problem that needs solving well beyond the top table seating arrangements. Martin Crowe, for one, says we don't put enough emphasis on our domestic first-class competition.

Considering the small pool of players in this country, New Zealand produces excellent talent when you can include McCullum, Ross Taylor and Jesse Ryder in the same side. Yet New Zealand has lost the ability to hone talent into fine careers and results, to consistently play tactics, to find a formula beyond one that looks as though individuals are playing for Indian T20 contracts or have so much money in the bank that test cricket is a lark. Compare this to the way Ricky Ponting is hanging on to his career for dear life, or how Mark Greatbatch once batted forever to save a test.

This game in Brisbane is among the most depressing and humiliating of our test defeats when you consider the state of the Australian team and our test cricket. It was a rare chance to put a small reversal on a dismal record in Australia and wow both the public and test schedulers.

Those speckled seats at the Gabba may fool the eyes briefly, but bean counters see past colourful cover-ups. If we play like drongos we'll mainly get drongos to play against and will thus disappear as a test cricketing nation via ever-decreasing circles.

By Chris Rattue
Mick (New Zealand) | 10:09AM Monday, 05 Dec 2011
Gabba is a fast wicket, so pick someone who can bowl 145k + rather than same old same old medium pacers. Milne from CD bowls 145k. Forget any negative points around him - pick him. Aus picked 2 twenty year old bowlers and look what they did.
If you get to 34 or 36, then your the man for that innings. With wickets falling, play every thing along the ground until you are well 'in' would help to be aware of where your off stump is like Brownlie showed also.
Big T (New Zealand) | 10:09AM Monday, 05 Dec 2011
I don't think McCullum is the problem. A symptom of the overall problem yes, because he's an underachiever, but in reality he's probably the best opener we currently have. You can't just disregard the double-century against India- I think he's pretty much a guy who will average mid-high 30s and be erratic and frustrating whether batting 7 or opening. Unfortunately for us, mid-high 30s is the best we can muster.
The bigger problem is we think we're doing well when we have Guptill and McCullum (averaging in the 30s), Williamson (talent? Yes. But still averaging in the 30s, so still an unrealised talent at the moment), Taylor (averaging low 40s and always gives the bowler a chance) and Ryder (the best of the bunch with a mid-40s average, but seems to be on a downward trend after an excellent start to his test career).
Averages of mid-30s to mid-40s might be ok by NZ standards, but as a batting unit that's mediocre by international standards. Essentially, all of these guys, even Taylor, remain unproven- well, either unproven or just not quite good enough. None of them are world class.
dan selby (Manurewa) | 10:09AM Monday, 05 Dec 2011
Woeful, embarrassing and humiliating. Ryder a disgrace and not a TEST player. Vettori should still be captaining the side. Why isn't he? The majority of the team (excluding Vettori, Martin and Brownlie) should be removed from the team to play in Tasmania. How could it become any worse? Put Martin Crowe back in!
The weakest Australian side in the last 30 years and NZ play like that. The majority (excluding those mantioned) should hold their heads in shame. I wouldn't mind if they showed some determination and graft in the face of adversity. But they just folded like a group of amateurs with no self-belief and no sense of respect for playing for their country. As a NZer living in Australia I feel disgusted.